When the word clique appears in a sentence it rarely has positive connotations. We have probably seen them throughout a school. Definitely, they were there in a larger corporate environment. Cliques, however, are definitely based on perception. There are those that are truly real and those that are there only based on our insecurities in a new environment. Lifes lessons hopefully have been able to help us see the differences.
In social media, it can be even more challenging to correctly perceive what are cliques and what is not because we have less to base those suppositions on. We have content and conversation that we’re analyzing as opposed to body language and voice inflection. This is where you need to be really careful since you can presume something that may not be present. Then your emotions can get
the better of you.
To save yourself a lot of anxiety; just don’t presume. One of the early lessons that helped me was to grow my network outside of my industry. At first, I felt that the only place I needed focus was on multifamily property management folks. How wrong I was! As a matter of fact, it was a major eye opener and helped me learn from some pretty amazing people. As I mentioned in part one of this series, if you are starting from scratch it can really feel lonely. YOU MUST keep trudging forward. If you are expecting someone who has 20 gazillion followers to respond to you…you may be in for a long wait. Focus on what is realistic and just be genuine. I often relate conversation in social media like making eye contact. When you look into someone’s eye it is much easier for you to make conversation and much more genuine.
Still, after all of this effort, you may still find there are some who just won’t reciprocate conversation, whether it’s on Twitter, a Facebook page or a blog post. One of two things is taking place. Either they do not trust you yet or they are just antisocial and have in effect taken the playground stance most of us really despise. You just need to move on. They are not worth it. There are way too many conversational socius folks out there for you to be concerned with those who are not. Just don’t worry about the antisocial folks and those who appear to have a group or clique of their own.
If you are a gregarious person you will do just fine. Those who use social media just as a tool are missing the very heart of the expression which is social, and being social has human emotions that need to be analyzed. We all have insecurities. It’s part of being human. Social media is not immune to those feelings but with persistence and the correct approach, you will find a community that will make you smile each and every day. If you have any thoughts to share please feel free to comment below. I really appreciate the feedback.
Written by Jonathan Saar
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Jonathan,
It has been a long day, but I just wanted you to know that you make a lot of sense. Insecurity is something that haunts many of us. You are right…it starts in school. You are not athletic so you never quite fit in on any team (I kept score a lot), then you have curly hair and long straight hair is popular. The list goes on. Cliques are formed and then one day you are elected Student Body President because you are not part of one clique…turns out everyone likes something about you. I find it that way in Social Media…you and I don’t know each other…but we had some fun talking about AMTRAK one weekend, remember? And every once in a while, I will see you ask a question and if I think I might be able to help you out…I answer. You stop by my blog(s) every now and then and leave a comment.
Thanks for helping to start my Friday evening off with reassuring thoughts.
Judy
Judy I totally remember our Amtrak chat. I loved the dialog and I super duper appreciate you taking the time to express yourself here. We face numerous emotional challenges each day and what makes each day special is that there are people like you who put themselves out there to help others in whatever way you can. I hope your weekend is restful and refreshing. Thank you so much for adding to the conversation.
Ahh, steady and calm advice for a change. Thank you. There is so much out there these days that is sensationalist in nature. Your post was refreshing because it was just about keeping your goals in mind and most of all, we all feel that insecurity when someone never responds. The advice to move on is great.
John thank you for being here today. I am very grateful that you find my thoughts refreshing. That was my hope and goal. I agree with you that there is a lot of sensationalist material out there. Though there is much to help us, individually we have to assess our situations and make decisions that will help us enjoy each day. Have a great weekend sir.