The past couple of days I have read numerous personal posts about the tragic death of Trey Pennington. The outpouring of sorrow over this event is a tribute to the deep human spirit that we have. My deepest condolences to his family and friends. I do not know this gentleman personally but reading the stories about him gave me much food for thought.
Those who are super close to me know some of the things I have been going through in the last couple of months. I don’t remember ever having to go through such a rough patch personally but it thankfully taught me some new lessons in life. I have always tried to be the person who shuts his own feelings down for the sake of helping those around me. I don’t think it is some sort of macho thing at all but more of an “I will deal with this later” kind of approach. With what has happened recently this approach did not serve me well at all.
This past weekend served to help me heal a lot. I had a lot of family come into town and there were lots of great conversations. Sometimes you do not know how bad your heart is hurting until you start talking. Depression in its many forms, tell you to keep it inside and bury it. I am eternally grateful that I have a lot of great people around me and know me well enough to take the time and make me talk.
Burying your feelings is counterproductive. It affects your health, family life and your ability to get your work done. When you are going through stressful times your heart needs time to heal. It cannot be ignored. It cannot be buried. You need to get it out of your system. You need to cry. You need to mourn. You don”t have to macho yourself. You don”t have to kid yourself. You don”t have to say to yourself “Suck it up”. You need to express yourself and listen to your heart.
We need to make sure we stay social. The advent of all of this technology has in many ways hampered our ability to communicate. We can never emphasize enough the necessity of taking online relationships and making sure they convert into offline relationships. We need to make sure we have people around us that love us and will be there for us. That is what really matters.
These are just some of the things I was reminded of recently. I am unbelievably grateful to those who have been there for me..especially my beloved wife. Let the healing begin.
I don’t know your personal story but I can relate to the feelings that you describe here. I am infamous for holding things in and not discussing it with anyone. Journaling has helped with some of that. Blogging too… speaking to people, venting, crying, getting their interpretations are all part of the healing process. I wish you happiness during your process Jonathan… and more conversations and posts like this.
Thank you sir. Â It will all be good for sure. Â I am just grateful for the various circles of friends that I have. Â Good things come your way on many different levels. Â You just have to be there to catch it. Â I appreciate your support in many different ways my friend.Â
Jonathan,
Contact! Real contact is what is often missing in this world of “social” media. So many sing the praises of working from home “alone”. They say it is empowering. The truth is that it is lonely. And it makes one lose sight of how to interact with people. Eye contact..remember that? Remember walking into an office and knowing with one glance who was happy, who was suffering…who was sick?
It doesn’t matter where one goes today…people are “eyes down” with “thumbs moving”. I am quickly coming to the conclusion that people have forgotten, haven’t learned, or simply don’t want know how  to make contact. If they do, they might have to get involved. They might have to interact.
You and I have talked briefly about our lives and pressures. I hope, as I have said in the past, to meet you face to face, eye to eye! Let me know if there is something I can do in the meantime.
Judy
Judy you are such a wonderful person and the day we do meet face to face will be fantastic. Â I completely agree with your sentiments. Â What does it really take to show someone you care? Â The right word at the right time can make such a difference in someones day. Â It’s all about putting the human back into humanity. Â Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and I appreciate you reaching out :)Â