In many ways I find it a bit amusing how this blog has taken shape. I flip flop a lot between solid social media posts and some deep seated thoughts that I have personally experienced and how it has affected me and in turn something for my friends maybe to learn something about. This post will be more of the latter.
I have taken a great deal of time this year to reflect on my life and pick up the pieces of 2011. When I originally wrote Jonathan- Where are you? I merely had scratched the surface about what was going on in my life because it was simply too painful to write about. 2012 has been a successful year, probably one of my best from a career perspective. However it has also opened the doors to my inner self. I think we all have certain insecurities. It can certainly be a challenge to bridge the personal with the professional. At the same time insecurities can serve as a good barometer or beacon when making decisions. At other times they hold us back. We stop in fear. We allow our feelings to consume us. Everyone’s personal demons are different but I and we struggle to get past them.
It leads to the question: Have I really picked up the pieces? In other words, have I really healed? Those are the lingering questions which have led to their own demons. Demons by night and day taking their own form, inciting me to make choices or to have thoughts that were counterproductive and destructive. I do not think I am alone in this. It circles right back to insecurities we have always had or perhaps ones created by others and how they can be like a vice on our hearts.
So now where do I go? What do I need to do to get past my demons and what can all of us do if we face similar feelings? For me it had to be a symbolic wall. I became very tired of how my environment and events had taken a measure of control over me and who I know I am deep down inside. It was time for me to be aware of what was affecting me negatively and to put an end to the demons that were interfering with what I wanted out of life. It took support. For me it was and always has been my dear bride of over 20 years and my faith. For you I would advise the same. If you are aware of things that are haunting you, do not keep them inside. Find that someone who will be there for you and give you that support.
There are plenty of other ways to provide relief. For me just writing this piece has been very therapeutic. Look for your therapy. Look for your happy places. We all know life has its ups and downs but we can’t let the bad hold us back forever.
I am looking forward to getting back into my writing groove and sharing with you the many work related items I learn each day. For my readers: thank you for being here…you have been a help to me and I hope in turn have been a help to you.
Written by Jonathan Saar